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[bomp] Before there was Gulcher, there was Gulcher!
Say what?!? That's right!! Before there was Gulcher Records, there was
Gulcher Magazine! As it turned out, it was so much more fun to make records
than
just write about them. Anyway, yeah. Grunt. The first issue was Gulcher #0,
edited by none other than Mr. Eddie Flowers. Or was it Eddy? Well you can
look that up yourself, 'cause Eddie/Eddy/Eduardo has just curated an online
reissue of Gulcher #0 at Slippy Town Times. Not to mention a new Crawlspace
rock'n'roll album! (He woulda been on the Gizmos Live In Bloomington too, had
he
not been ill.) Curate? Rock'n'roll? Huh? Kick out the jams, mofos!! (BR)
http://slippytown.com/2gulcher.htm
Crawlspace
The Spirit Of '76
(Gulcher 607)
Take me back. Yeah, take me back. Take me back to where I once beee-longed.
(Elvis version of the Fab 4.) Git back juju. Man, I always hated
"retro"--although I always loved "roots." What's the diff? Who knows, and
who cares!
After 15 years or so in the outer regions, the Crawlspace mamaship has
touched down on solid rock again. Start wigglin' yer toes in mud and rollin'
rugs
off the floor. What am I saying here, brothers and sisters? I'm
saying...LET'S ROCK!
Out in Slippy Town, Republic of California, they got rock and revolution on
their minds. R&R circa 1950-1976 (but time is an illusion). Revolution coz
yeah, war still sux and racism still sux. But this is revolution thru tokin'
and dancin'--not the kinda bad-vibe methods that W.'s cabal is using to fug up
the whole party. What follows is the Crawlspace 13-point program,
collectively
known as The Spirit Of '76:
1. "Theme For A Wet T-Shirt Contest"--The boys in the band jam out an
instrumental intro in honor of perky nipples 'n plump-dimpled butts. This
ain't
sexism, sisters, it's bowing before the holy twat.
2. "Califawnia Gurls"--Original version was from 1976 by the Brooklyn trio
called O. Rex (with upstate NY dude and Gizmos founder Ken Highland). Hey
gals, if you refuse it, you just might lose it! Keep them snappers from
snappin'
too hard!
3. "Just Seventeen"--Heavy Raiders tune from their "hip" 1970 album Collage.
Crawlspace will now paraphrase the prophet John Waters: "If there's hair,
it's fair!" How many puritans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody
knows, because puritans won't admit they screw.
4. "Hey Joe (Version Version)"--Mutation in action: Patti Smith's "Sixty
Days" intro to her "Hey Joe (Version)" '74 single + the Arthur Lee/Love
arrangement '66 = Crawlspace breathin' in some folk-rockin' air. The message
is
pretty muddled here, but yes, there is anti-Iraq War rhetoric improvised
towards
the end. I mean, really, man, can you BELIEVE the 21st century so far?!
5. "Fight For Liberation"--Crawlspace stands for rock first, but we're also
lefties somewhere down the line. Yes, art always outweighs politics, but
sometimes they get all tangled up in a way that works. One of the best
examples
of that is Patrick Sky's 1973 album Songs That Made America Famous. The
original of this song was the opening track. It has a "message"--it's not
very
subtle--it sez look at the world from the bottom up. It's also funny!
6. "Take Your War On Vacation"--This is our own personal rockin' take on the
current insanity. Our philosophy of life: hey man, let's all just get
stoned and forget about it--but if you just can't let it go, puh-leeze attack
the
right people and leave the rest of us alone! Can't we all just get along?
Won't you please pass the bong?
7. "Leavin' Here"--And if we can't find no peace, we might just gotta be
gettin' outta here again! Where's my space suit? We based our version of
Eddie
Holland's "Leavin' Here" on the 1965 cover version by Ron Wood's mod band the
Birds.
8. "Space Truckin'"--Riff! Riff! Bang! Bang-a-bang! Whoosh! We take Deep
Purple's 1972 classic and throw it in the furnace of our homemade UFO. Here
we go again! Rrrrrrrrrroooooaarrrrrr!
9. "Rat Fink"--From Allan Sherman's immortal album My Son, The Nut (1963).
Crawlspace turns Sherman's version of "Rag Mop" into a stoned skunkabilly
anthem. Everybody sing along: "R-A-T-T F-I-N-K! Rat fink! Yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah!" The political ramifications of this track are open to debate.
10. "Never Never"--When will we stop rockin'? The title sez it all! Git on
board the rocket ship now! This is the third and final Crawlspace original
here.
11. "Chemicals In The Mail"--The spirit of...'78? That's the year the
original of this killer was released by the C*nts. It's another song with a
strong
message: "I just turn the channels till I get chemicals in the mail."
12. "Erotic Neurotic"--An abbreviated version of a long punk-rock song from
1977 by the Saints, quite possibly the best so-called punk-rock band that ever
existed. So sayeth the mighty author of these words!
13. "Sympathy For The Devil"--What can be said? Good and evil are illusions
of the human brain. But if forced to choose, rock'n'roll must choose
Lucifer. How'd the Horned One get such a bad rep anyway? This tune, of
course, is
the opening track from the best album (released '68) by the world's eleventh
greatest R&R band. Yes, music fans, the beginning of this track is a jam
coming
out of a Roky Erickson song ("Children nailed to the cross!"), but we won't
tell you which one! As for the end of the track, yes, there is something
wrong
with your stereo--impatient punks can simply turn it off, hippie rockers can
pack another bowl and groove on...and on.
Crawlspace is Eddie Flowers, Greg Hajic, and Joe Dean. Robin Lehman plays
synthesizer on "Space Truckin'." Front cover painting by Krazee Ken Highland,
circa 1973.
Stenson Domingo Eduardo Flores
Slippy Town
October 2006
www.gulcher.gemm.com
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